Exodus 5:22-7:25
Matthew 18:21-19:12
Psalm 23:1-6
Proverbs 5:22-23
Matthew 18:32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
Matthew 18:35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
Forgiveness from the heart. Just like everything else that Jesus is teaching His disciples about it is not the action the matters it is the heart. I think about parents who make their children say they are sorry for things they say and do to each other, and they make the other one say it's okay or I forgive you. Which is all fine and good as long as you first help them to understand why we apologize and why we forgive. If we don't get it to a heart level it's useless. Every one of those times is a bible teaching moment. An opportunity to remind them of Jesus and what He has done for us and that we forgive because even though none of us deserve it Jesus suffered and died to forgive us. Many people struggle with understanding that forgiveness can be given without the person who wronged us apologizing or even knowing about it. We forgive from the heart because Jesus forgave us which means when we forgive we no longer hold the offense against that other person. Forgetting is impossible but when we forgive from our hearts we no longer hold onto the hurt and don't bring it up over and over again. This was an important thing for me to learn and I still struggle with it in my marriage at times. I was really bad at bringing up things from the past in an argument and all it would do is fuel my bitterness and frustrate my husband. It was one of many things that had our marriage on a destructive path.
Matthew 19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Before I fully surrendered my life to Christ and long before my husband accepted Jesus as His Savior my marriage was very rocky. We were both selfish and doing marriage the worlds way. We lived as in a contractual marriage. We fought often and we blamed each other for our unhappiness. One night we had a late night of talking out a conflict. Things like "I don't even know if I love you anymore" were said. I asked the question "What do you want? Do you want to end this?" I thank God that his answer was "No." We didn't make the decision based on this biblical principal but at this point we decided that divorce was not an option. When that decision was made we had to make some choices to work on our marriage. We could continue to live together in misery or we could learn to love and forgive each other. God protected us from the damage of divorce. When we "become one flesh" we can't be separated without tearing apart pieces of each other and damaging each other on many levels.
Matthew 19:8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
God hates divorce and outside of marital unfaithfulness no believer should pursue a divorce from their spouse. That does not mean that you need to stay in a home with an abusive spouse. Separation is not divorce. There are ways to do that and not close your heart toward your spouse. If you are not in an abusive relationship then I encourage you that God can change your marriage. He changed mine but it started with putting Him first so He could change me. And putting my husband second and living in a covenant marriage instead of a contact marriage.
If you would like to know more about God's way of doing marriage let me know. As a certified marriage mediator I would love to help you to learn about God's design for marriage.
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